So I started writing my life story (in random order) in my ethics class yesterday. It was suppose to be an explanation of why I ended up this way. Here I go…

Journal ethics feb 5, 2013

So my teacher wants us to talk about our background or upbringing in this journal. Pretty much she wants to know why I’m a dick to everybody. Okay. So let me think. I’ll start when I was 5 and my cousin amber molested me. I knew it wasn’t right but I had absolutely no control over it since she was 11 at the time. It confused me. In second grade, this girl Beverly stole my best friend Alexa. Later, in the third grade after I already hated her, she won me over. We became bestfriends but I don’t really know what her problem was… She would be mad at me for no reason and then we’d stop being friends, it was off and on like some kind of gay relationship. Not literally speaking but we did have our share of lesbian encounters together. In the fifth grade, this girl Hannah who I also considered a bestfriend would hit me. I didn’t do anything about it cuz I know she was playing but she would hit hard sometimes. I wondered after awhile if she really meant it or if she was just playing. I kind of think it was both. In the sixth grade this girl deandra tried to steal my identity. She would act like me, dress like me, talk like me and even changed her name to DC. Sixth grade is also the time when I realized I like women. In seventh grade, I got my first boyfriend. He left me for another girl. But I also cheated on him with this girl Caitt and I also cheated on her with this girl Michelle. Sometimes I think Michelle is “one who got away.” I see her from time to time but I doubt she recognizes me, but that is neither here nor there. Seventh grade I had Pamela and lauri as a bestfriend. I have to say Lauri was a better friend but she was not very supportive of me. In a way that a friend would want what’s best for another friend. But she would get mad at me because I think she thought the decisions I was making was dumb. I understood that but to get mad at me…. I don’t know. Anyway, I lost her because she didnt like that I was with Michael. And she didnt like that I was with Robbie. Anyway her and I had our share of lesbian encounters as well. Michael beat me. And Robbie would break my heart. I also met Veronica my freshman year. Needless to see she’s been the greatest friend I ever had. Lyndsay and Morgan… They were bestfriends too. I lost Lyndsay to drugs I think… Morgan was also another great friend next to Veronica. And I loved her. She was straight but we needed eachother. I would give her the attention she wanted. And she would spend time with me. Give me kisses. Cushion the blow from Robbie. She was my princess. We got in a fight though. She thought that I was changing because I had befriended enemies… Kelly and Auquia. They weren’t my bestfriends though. They were just new friends I forgave. And they forgave me for the wrong I had done to them as well. Anyway, she ended up moving back to Abiline after she broke up with her boyfriend Kyle. I miss her. Sophomore year I went to Prom w Veronica. Took a good beating to the heart from Robbie. Went to my brothers baseball games. Junior year I met mandi and John John and Anissa. Mandi fucked me over

And that’s where I stopped. Maybe I’ll finish it. Maybe I won’t.

Bored so I did this.

1. last hug: tommy
2. last phone call: John John
3. last text message: Ramiro
4. last song you heard: Gold Trans Am
5. last time you cried: two weeks ago

6. dated someone twice: yes
7. been cheated on: yes
8. kissed someone & regretted it: yes
9. lost someone special: yes
10. been depressed: yes
11. cried over something stupid: probably

12: red
13: orange
14: yellow…

15. made a new friend: yes
16. fallen out of love: yes
17. laughed until you cried: probably
18. met someone who changed you: yes
19. found out who your true friends were: yes
20. found out someone was talking about you: yes
21. kissed anyone on your friend’s list: yes

22. how many people on your friends list do you know in real life: idk
23. how many kids do you want: I don’t know
24. do you have any pets. I have 6
25. do you want to change your name: maybe
26. what did you do for your last Birthday: I can’t remember lol
27. what time did you wake up today: like 12 or something
28.What were you doing at midnight last night: sleeping maybe
29. name something you cannot wait for: to move
30. last time you saw your mother: today
31. what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: mandi.
32. what are you listening to right now: tv
33. have you ever talked to a person named Tom: yes, well, tommy.
34. who’s getting on your nerves right now: Robbie
35. most visited webpage: twitter?
36. whats your real name. Deanna
37. nicknames: DJ, DeDe, D-money, Dee.
38. relationship Status: single
39. zodiac sign: Aries
40. male or female: female
41. primary school: Ed Cody elementary, bob Lewis elementary.
42. secondary School: Jordan middle school.
43. high school/college: Stevens high school, excel, northwest vista college.
44. write w/e you want here: bawlz
45. long or short: depends on how bad it hurts.
46. height: 5’3”
47. do you have a crush on someone: I guess. Idk if you would call it a crush after this long lol
48. what do you like about yourself: everything.
49. piercings: yes
50. tattoos: yes
51. righty or lefty: I’m a righty

52. first surgery: none
53. first piercing: technically, ears
54. first best friend: Anthony Salazar and Maurice Bell
55.first sport you joined: gymnastics
56. first vacation: San Antonio
58. first pair of trainers: what?

59. eating: nothing
60. drinking: nothing
61. i’m about to: go back to sleep maybe if I’m lucky
62. listening to: some tv show on adult swim
63. waiting for: myself to get tired again so I can go back to sleep

64. want kids: I don’t know yet
65. get married: if someone will love me as much as I love myself. If not, that’s cool too.
66. career: if everything goes well in school…
67. lips or eyes: lips
68. hugs or kisses: hugs
69. shorter or taller: taller
70. older or Younger: older
71. romantic or spontaneous: spontaneous
72. nice stomach or nice arms: arms
73. sensitive or loud: sensitive. Loud is not for me.
74. hook-up or relationship: relationship. I don’t “hook-up.”

76. Kissed a stranger: yes
77. drank hard liquor: yes
78. lost glasses/contacts: yes
79. kissed someone your not dating: yes
80. broken someone’s heart: I believe so.
82. been arrested: alot
83. turned someone down: yes
84. cried when someone died: yes
85. fallen for a friend: yes

86. yourself: duh
87. miracles: 50/50
88. love at first sight: do you believe in love at first sight? Or do I need to walk by again?
89. heaven: touchy.
90. santa Clause: no
91. kiss on the first date: not really my thing. It could actually be a deal breaker for me.
92. angels: meh…

94. had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time: yes
95. did you sing today: yes
96. ever cheated on somebody: yes
97. if you could go back in time, how far would you go?: probably til 6th grade
98. the moment you would choose: before my life went to shit lol
99. are you afraid of falling in love?: I don’t believe much in it so how can one be afraid of what they do not believe?
100: do you like the way you look: no, I just think I’m ugly as shit and continue to look this way. Of course I like the way I look, and if I wasn’t satisfied, I’d change it.

My biggest fear

Is believing in someone that won’t save me.

Sex, drugs, & dubstep.

Whatever happened to rock n roll? This is why EDM doesn’t mean shit to me. It’s just a bunch of beats. And don’t get me wrong, it’s fun to dance to. And I LOVE dancing. But as far as relating to this music, I don’t. There’s no meaning behind most of it because most of it is just beats and bass drops. That’s why I dont give a shit about the songs, or DJ’s. As long as I can dance to it. That’s why I don’t have EDM on my phone or listen to it outside of clubs or events. Why? Because there’s no point in me doing so. Just my personal opinions though.

#7 #playhousebarbies Twitter said I uploaded too many pics on twitpic. So here are the last three on tumblr. Thank y’all for sticking around

#7 #playhousebarbies Twitter said I uploaded too many pics on twitpic. So here are the last three on tumblr. Thank y’all for sticking around

In animes…

They’re almost always in school.
They’re almost always in school uniforms.
There’s always that one guy all the girls fall in love with.
None of the men get laid.
There’s always that one pervert with the camera.
All the guys have nose bleeds when they see the smallest bit of female skin.
The older women tend to want the dick, no matter whos dick it belongs to.
The main character (male) is almost always a dumbass (failed an entrance exam, a test, is broke, etc.).
The main character (female) has a huge rack.

I feel like tumblr is alot easier to be on

when you have an iphone. FUCK A COMPUTER.


Ugh, now.


Ugh, now.